Monthly Archives: April 2017

An open letter to my childless friends. With love, a new Mum

I want to share the best bits with you and distract you from the worst. I want to tell you to sleep, indulge, relax (enjoy being braless and able to jump) and be selfish while you can but this isn’t about that – it’s not really about our little one, it’s about us, me and you!

Sorry for the way I have let our friendships deteriorate. Once so keen, interested, and proactive and now so, so…. well, distracted.

All of a sudden, you are handed a gooey bundle by the midwife and your title changes. Are you; ‘YOU, Mum, Wife’ or ‘Mum, Wife, YOU’ or ‘Wife, Mum, YOU’ etc… As to be expected, the pecking order changes, your identity changes and your friends’ opinion of you changes.

To the friends that have been so giving! Within four short months we have received baby shower gifts, baby arrival gifts, Christmas gifts, Christening gifts and so many “just because” gifts. We are so thankful for your generosity and kindness. As parents we are going to have to work hard to teach our little one to be very grateful, as it is clear that she is so loved and oh so very spoilt.

To the friends that carry on regardless – I get it! Why change your routine because we decided to have children? Being the one that liked to arrange the social events and regularly get friends together, it’s a culture shock to see your #BestGirls Instagram posts, Facebook updates and Snapchats. But I promise that I do “get it!” Don’t call me and certainly don’t leave me a voicemail, don’t send a text that requires a lengthy reply, don’t send a Whatsapp voice message that might disturb a calm baby and don’t send a snapchat that I will miss and can’t replay…the list goes on.

I know I make things hard for you and myself! Trying to be the best Mum I can be means that other things slide; the laundry, my beauty regime and friendships.

Please don’t stop trying to reach out to new Mums – I may not reply but continue to contact me on as many different forms of social media as possible and as often as you can. Despite being incredibly caught up in my own world of spit up, babble, lack of sleep and dirty nappies, I try to listen and hear what you’re telling me about your life too – honest.

To the friends that always persevere. Thank you for always asking how I am, and when I don’t reply, you try and ask me again. You update me with your news without expecting a response. You fill me in with your gossip and you always show me that you care. Believe me, I love to her about your dating experiences, career news, exciting excursions and gossip and I am so grateful that you at least pretend, to care about my nipples, nappies and napping troubles.

To the friends that make themselves present and seen. So long, boozy bank holidays, lavish weekend breaks and sporadic plans. Thank you to those that choose and want to now spend times having disturbed lunches, walks in the countryside and interrupted conversations in our lounge – let’s face it we will always provide wine and/or gin and you are more than welcome to indulge in as many baby cuddles as you wish!

Dear childless friends, you might be one of these, some of these or even none of these but THANK YOU for being patient, supporting and so valuable.

A new Mum